Impossible fathers lonely together

You will learn how semen thinks
if you take it in and quickly drink
its sour filling, the bleached saliva,
the nightcrawler’s hug, morning at night,
cuddled with the moon of its color
bound, aching, sweet on your tongue,
my tongue, ours together, can’t yet
tell if mine is yours or if we’re wet
from my love, this love for you,
grand if only you had a womb
that would hold me inside it
and with you my shoulders
would carry it through to you
until we formed something new.
If only you would learn my semen
doesn’t like your tract, it gags,
it guesses what we are, rightly, fags,
but it is still our food as we relax
on you on me on the world of wax
which melts under us, swallows whole
our couple, this couple, this undue role
in which I gag, too, sometimes on you,
dark in here in the candle-room,
alone in the burn as the saw cuts through.
Where did you go? Curl in me?
When my left and right lungs are free
will you bury me in your chest?
Will you hold and kill and kiss me,
this dust, kiss even this dust sheet
which is me, incidentally,
pressed flat like it always has been
when people must speak so silent
and shy away and never defend
their art or love or chemical science:
but this is a promise, you there,
act like we’re strangers to each other,
they won’t know the difference
or fuel their will to bother,
us to bother, me dead, you fodder
for the next round-up of impossible fathers.
Love! It knows you through and through,
though I know you better, I know you too,
even deaf and nearing dumb I see our food
sprouting from what fruits from you,
I crave it, so leave it there, please leave it soon.

___

Well, not very pleased with this piece. Starting to forget the emotional aspect. Thinking of a certain contrasting image or though does not a feeling make. Though I’d rather write tons of this shit rather than give in to the lazy crowd. Sick people, they are, thinking they have the grip on poetry when in fact they’re all employed by Hallmark–and that’s pretty goddamn evident.

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~ by Jeremy on July 15, 2010.

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